Sometimes it is a gradual progression of declining health, or a form of dementia, and other times it can happen suddenly, without warning, a stroke, or heart attack. When our parents have difficulty living by themselves, it is often times the children who must then step in and find a solution. Sometimes parents may object to help or be very resistant for a variety of reasons, most often the main reason for the objections is that they just simply do not recognize the need themselves.
In the past if an elderly parent had difficulties living by themselves it was a signal that it was time for them to move in with family or move to a nursing home, and that is a big fear for elderly, but things have changed and now with a little planning and some assistance it is feasible for them to stay in their own for many years . This is called "Aging In Place". Here are a few questions and answers you may find helpful.
1.Why is Aging in Place desirable?
It is natural for most people to value their ability to live as independently as possible for as long as possible.Home health care can offer an affordable option to the high cost of an Assisted Living Residence or Nursing Home by promoting independence and offering just the right amount of assistance when it is needed.
2. What types of assistance does a home health agency provide?
Well, think about everything you do for your elderly loved ones and all the little things that need to be done around a house everyday, like: doing dishes, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning and other chores. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some help with those tasks as well as making sure you loved ones are bathed, dressed and physically cared for properly, and are taking their medications correctly. Home health caregivers can also help by driving them to errands, hair appointments or to doctor appointments if needed. They can also provide skilled nursing services like medication management, would care, IV, and home blood draws to name a few.
3. How does a family know when your aging parents or loved ones need help?
There are several tell- tale warning signs that can let us know when it is time to get them the assistance they need, because ,if some of their basic needs are met by home health care workers, children and family can spend time with them, playing games, watching movies, reminiscing about family history or just talking and enjoying their time together.
4. What are those warning signs you were talking about?
Difficulty walkor unsteadiness on level ground-recent falls.
Poor Grooming, declining personal hygiene-soiled clothes.
Loss of appetite, changes in cooking or eating habits.
Spoiled outdated food in fridge- little nutritious food in the home.
Diminished driving skills, recent accidents, near misses.
Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, reluctance to leave house.
Losing track of medications, missed doses, overdoses.
Memory loss, forgetfulness, confusion,
Persistent fatigue, lack of energy, sleeping for long periods.
Personality changes, irritability, sudden mood changes.
Unopened mail, pas due bills mishandled finances.
Not making sound decisions, not recognizing emergencies or knowing the
correct response.
Leaving the stove turned on, cigarettes burning, other unsafe conditions.
5. One you recognize that your parents are displaying several or all of these signs, what is the next step?
Recognizing that they need help is easy once you know what you are looking for, the next step, convincing them to accept that help in their home is often the most difficult. Resistance to any kind of change is common especially among the elderly population. Bringing in outside help is not a change most older folks are agreeable to, in spite of the obvious need. Understand that bring someone in from the outside to help them is perceived as a threat to their independence and privacy.
If your parents are living together; for instance suggest that his or her spouse might benefit from the help. It is less threatening. By allying yourself with the most independent parent they might both ultimately accept the help.
Another approach might be to put the emphasis on getting help with some of the heavy housework, like vacuuming, not actual personal care. Or suggest help with driving to appointments or shopping, and hopefully they will see the value of having assistance and develop a trust with the caregiver then allowing them to provide other types of help like personal care.
If your loved one is living alone or with you, you might try putting the emphasis on yourself. Saying it would give you more time to focus on other things, that it would alleviate your worries while you are away from them. Downplay them as the cause, make it your need.
Another idea might be to enlist the help of a professional that your parents hold in high regard. They might accept advise from their physician, someone from the church or a long time family friend.
Dianne Campbell
Community Liaison
A Preferred Nursing Service
www.APNursingService.com
